On another fertility note…
[warning]First let me say that this one is way TMI… [/warning]
I can’t get over how much Clomid has helped me not be secretly plotting revenge because someone looked at me funny. Mostly, I keep the crazy in (because I could still tell it was crazy, even if it was a real emotion), but Ranger usually ends up hearing my flippant thoughts. I think he heard the few I had this time, too. Seriously, I’ve got to get better. But it has been way easier to be nice to the world. And my family. And myself.
On another note. WOW. Let me just say, Niagra Falls aint got nothin. That is all. (Told you… Way TMI).
This is my second Clomid cycle, and I’m pulling out all the stops. Raspberry tea, vitamins, Evening Primrose oil, Clomid, and taking care of myself with sleep and healthful food (most of those happen every month, but I’ve added some vitamins and the tea). At least, if I can ever remember to drink my tea. I seem to find it 2 hours later. Cold. It’s not good cold. Ranger is taking the Fertilaid (Seriously, swear by it! I don’t think Ranger wants me touting that story, but I will tell you, it’s a blessing)
I confess that I’m super nervous. If we throw all our cards on the table, what do we do if it doesn’t work? Ranger assures me that we’ll never be able to throw all our cards on the table, but I really don’t know what we can afford to try next. The rest of the options are expensive. But one of my doctors (the ‘big guy on campus’ dr. I like the ‘underling’ better) is trying to tell me that no matter what, it’s going to be expensive. One of my blood tests came back positive for a rare blood autoimmune disease. He’s convinced that that is my problem. But more and more lately, I’m not so sure. From my research, I need both tests to be positive two times in a row, 12 weeks apart. I’ve only had one test show up positive, and I’ve never been retested. I can’t figure out why he’d tell me it was this autoimmune disease if he’s never ordered the second test. I intend to talk to the dr I trust, and run my feelings by him.
One thing is for sure, if I continue to stress about it, I’m going to hurt our chances. Luckily, we’ve got some fun things planned over the next month. I bet that will help.