Author: Keira

[disclaim]First off, a disclaimer: this doesn’t have to be a spouse. It can be any type of significant other, a roommate, or a sister. Pick someone you are close to, that you see often, and that is nearest to your heart.[/disclaim]

Confession: I am not the model wife when it comes to showing gratitude for my husband! We go on dates, I know how to speak an affirmations love language, but I’ve got to be on my guard to do it. Most of the time I’m so caught up in my own head I forget to show affection at all. I know, lame, right? So I am actually looking forward to today’s challenge.

Since I am in no way an expert, I trusted my handy friend Google… and came up empty. There are ways to tell your husband you love him, ways to tell him you’re pregnant (handy, I suppose), and things women wish they could tell their husband (I didn’t dare click that link… that could be scary. But there’s no site specifically thanking husbands! So, I dug through a couple of other search results, and compiled a list of ways to thank a husband (/spouse/significant other). Here are the top 15:

• Thank you for choosing to spend your life with me (I like this one based on healthy principles!).
• Thank you for inspiring me.
• Thank you for helping me become a better version of myself.
• Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful, even when I don’t feel beautiful.
• Thank you for accepting me for who I am.
• Thank you for being my friend.
• Thank you for all of the encouragement you give me.
• Thank you for sticking with me, even when I don’t want to stick with myself.
• Thank you for being the [i.e. patriarch, breadwinner, chef, comedian] in the family.
• Thank you for having boundaries.
• Thank you for keeping me in your thoughts (I’d add an instance here, so it doesn’t sound coercive).
• Thank you for growing.I know that ____ wasn’t easy for you, and I’m grateful you kept at it.
• Thank you for [that thing you said]. It meant a lot to me to hear you say it.
• Thank you for [whatever he/she did that made you fall in love with them]. My life has never been the same since.
• Thank you for taking care of your [dishes/socks/laundry, etc]. It means a lot to me that you respect my time and my need for a clean environment, and don’t create more work for me.

Clearly, for a roommate or a sister, you’re going to have to get a little more creative, They didn’t choose to spend their life with you, but they did choose to still be a part of your life. Thank them for being an example, for being there when no one else was, and, yes, for taking care of their own dishes, if applicable.

Now I’ve got to get off my blog and go tell my husband all the ways I’m thankful for him!

We’ve been serving and giving for a few days, and now the task is to give of ourselves. It may seem like we’ve already done that over and over. Service is giving of ourselves, giving things we love is giving of ourselves. How is this challenge possibly different? Well, lets get into it.

Is there a way to give of ourselves that isn’t open service? Or exchanging any possessions? Let’s talk love languages here. Service is a love language. Gifts is a love language. but there are 3 other love languages! Each of them, along with the previous two can be considered giving of oneself. Today, focus on an unused love language.

Give of your ears.  Listen to someone; Really listen.Give positive feedback. Validate them.This is more than a thank you note, although, technically, that works too. We’re really focusing more on the listening. When was the last time you just listened without giving advice? Or listened without thinking of all the things you have to do in a day?

Give of your time. Play a game with your children, sans devices and apps. Give them 100% of your attention. How long has it been since you played a game with them without checking Facebook/Pinterest/emails/text messages [I’m feeling a bit guilty, here]? Others could use your time, too. Just to be with them. Make eye contact. Work on a project together.

Give of your respect. Treat people kindly, honestly, and considerately. Treat them like they’re the sons and daughters of God like they are. let them know they matter to you through your body language and your words.

Give of your friendship. Include someone new into your acquaintances. Include an acquaintance into your friendship circle. Do something friendly. Have a girl’s night out, maybe? Be a friend.

Give of your memories. Write a letter to you children or a friend from the past. Journal. Write something down that can be remembered in the future. Or go and make new memories, and document it with pictures. Capture this moment in time.

Give of your knowledge. Teach a new skill. Speak up in class or in the workplace, and share what you know that will benefit others. Write your testimony down. Share the gospel. When we share knowledge about something we know, in a solicited situation (unsolicited advice is rarely accepted), we grow closer to the person we’re sharing it with. Because then it’s a shared gift instead on one given only to you. It gives you something in common. And it’s fun.

There are many ways to give of yourself that don’t require much effort. Today, focus on one area you feel the strongest about, and see what happens.

Okay, so for me personally, yesterday was hard and today is fun. I guess that evens out.

Today, surprise someone. With something. Somehow. Don’t get caught.

Let the fun begin! It’s a blast to leave goodies on doorsteps, notes in car windows, and return addresses blank. Today, loosen up, smile, and get into the spirit of giving.

I know the last two posts have been short, but really, how much explaining is needed? make it fun, use you’re imagination, and get going.

Giving something you own… On the one hand it seems cheap, lazy and unthoughtful. On the other hand, giving something you own can be giving a piece of your heart. The difference is if you treasure it or not.

Clearly, I’m talking about giving in the later sense. Today, find something you love, and give it away. There are a million excuses, but most of them aren’t any good. Find someone who needs something you have, and give it to them, no strings attached.

Somehow, there are few words needed, and yet it still seems so complicated…

In sticking with the service theme, today find something to give. Anything. A quarter to a child, a present to a friend, a hug to a stranger; give whatever comes to your mind.

In trying to think about what to say, I did a little perusing, and found a study by The University at Buffalo, written this year, that discuss the benefits of giving versus receiving. I know that they can prove just about anything they want nowadays, truth or not,  but this study speaks a deeper level truth. It’s something our souls knew long before our brains had proof. Giving is better for your health. It is better to give than to receive.

Over the five years of the study, we found that when dealing with stressful situations, those who had helped others during the previous year were less likely to die than those who had not helped [lightbox title=”Michael J. Poulin, PhD, assistant professor of psychology at the University at Buffalo. source: University at Buffalo. Arts, Humanities, Public Health, Social Sciences. Study Finds It Actually Is Better (and Healthier) to Give than to Receive. University at Buffalo. N.p., 2013. Web. 15 Nov. 2013.” url=”PageURL” width=”900″ height=”500″]others[/lightbox].

But I think it’s more than that, too. Giving reduces your need for “stuff.” It severs that carnal connection and allows you to focus on a stronger connection with yourself and with deity. “Stuff” creates a separate pull for your attention. And then there’s the happy vibes from doing good and being good. That helps any stressful day. And seeing the joy you can create. That’s gotta fit in there somehow, too.

[disclaim]note: this counts as the service for today. [/disclaim]

Yesterday, you served someone that needed a hand up. It wasn’t so hard. At least mentally. Right? How glorious and like the savior, to lift someone up, lighten a load, and carry a burden.

But what about all of those above you on life’s totem pole? The funny thing is, that totem pole is all inside your own head. Everyone has something dragging them down. And if they say they don’t they either have a good attitude or they’re lying. And I doubt it’s all good attitude, maybe partially, but not entirely. Everyone has bad days. It’s part of the plan. Everyone has something to work on, something to overcome and something to learn. Or they wouldn’t be here.

As humans, we tend to find things others have that we lack. Someone has all the money they need to pay the bills and actually gets to buy their wants. Someone has all the faith it takes to overcome the obstacles. Someone’s burdens are lighter. Someone has angel children. Someone has lots of children.

Think of someone who you think has “everything.” I bet it was pretty easy to find them in your mind. Now find a way to serve them.

The interesting thing is, by so doing, you will realize how much pride comes into play in your heart. And when you realize it’s there, send it packing. Pride and gratitude don’t mix, and it’s time for ours to take a vacation. A long one. Possibly forever. Perhaps that is one of the biggest blinders man has that God doesn’t. Pride distorts our views of our fellow beings. It keeps us from seeing people as they really are. God doesn’t have those distortions. Everyone has something to love about them, and something they’re working on.

so today, see people as God sees them. Serve them.

If you aced yesterday’s Anyway Principle, you’ll have no problems with today. We’re simply taking a step up. Yesterday’s anyway principle showed us how easy service can be. It’s just one extra step in a direction we were going anyway. But that’s not the all-encompassing direction of service. Sometimes service is out of our way. Sometimes it isn’t something we are doing anyway. But it still needs done, and sometimes we are the best person for the job. Today, do one act of service that is out of your way. [tooltip text=”Bigweld; Robots, 2005″]See a need, fill an need.[/tooltip] Observe and serve. And then if you revert back to the Anyway service, that’s okay, too.