Tag: Holidays

Posts related to a holiday.

Gratitude Dare

Day 12: Anyway

Keira

Once when I was a teenager, I learned a concept that stood out to me. I brought it home to my family, and we realized how much a part of our life the concept is. We always called it the Anyway Principle.

If you’re going to make dinner anyway, why not make extra and give it to the family of a sick mother?

If you’re going to go to an activity anyway, why not fill the empty seats in the car with someone who needs a ride?

If you’re at your desk anyway, why not write a “just thinking of you” note to someone on your mind?

When I googled the Anyway principle, it came to my attention that there is more than one “Anyway Principle,” and that my version is all but obsolete. The other principle, which is more of an “Anyway Challenge,” discusses a few paradoxical commandments, written by Kent M. Keith.

Although at first the principles seemed so different to me, I thought about it, did some research, and studied a bit of the grammar that I love. Whether something is negative or not, like in the paradoxical commandments, it doesn’t change the word (from what I can tell, the direction you’re looking – positive or negative – is the only difference between the paradoxical commandments and the anyway principle I knew: one states the opposition to the plan, while the other focuses on the proactive side of the plan. It doesn’t change the use of the word. Both mean “regardless,” “in any  case,” or “nevertheless”). If you are going to do something anyway, do it. Don’t let something stand in your way. Do something good no matter what opposition you face. If you’re going to reach out, who cares who tries to stop you! Especially if the person trying to stop you is yourself. Do it anyway.

But to me, grammar aside, there is still a difference I can’t ignore. One is active, the other is proactive. One is looking back and saying “I will move forward, anyway.” The other says, “I will move forward anyway, so what’s one more step.” One looks back and sees all the reasons not to do something. The other ignores all the reasons not to, and just looks at what they can do, and how much further they can go. If you are doing something anyway, is there someone you can bring along with you or something you can do while you’re out? If you’re cooking dinner anyway, can you make extra? 

I guess it’s the anyway principle inside of the anyway principle. You can choose to follow Kent M. Keith’s anyway principle (it’s still forward movement, so it counts. And some days, that might be all you can handle. Smile anyway…), but if you’re going to do it anyway…

Gratitude Dare

Day 11: Noted

Keira

dareI feel that as long as you’re thanking someone, it counts as thanking them. If you only write one thank you note, that’s okay. At least write one. For the rest of November, thank someone however feels the most real to you.

The benefit of thank you notes is that they can be kept after you write them. A compliment is forgotten quickly, but a thank you note can be seen and recalled to memory often.

And an added bonus: I am so much better at writing than I am at speaking.

So, our daily checklist looks something like this:

  1. Wake up and say it’s a glorious day
  2. Take 30 seconds to just be glad you’re alive.
  3. Look for the silver lining.
  4. Go for a walk
  5. write down 3 paragraphs about how you are blessed.
  6. Tell someone thank you.

See, we’re on day 11 and only have 6 things per day to do! That’s not too complicated. Ahh, the benefits of expounding instead of expanding.

Gratitude Dare

Day 10: Comfort zone

Keira

Sometimes saying thank you is outside of your comfort zone. Do it anyway!

dare

I know that for me (who, according to personality tests is both an introvert and an extrovert… explain that one), every day of going outside of your comfort zone would end up personally exhausting instead of invigorating, so this day’s challenge only needs to be done once, or as applicable. Still thank someone every day, but if you don’t make it out of your comfort zone, that’s okay. Or if thanking ANYONE is out of your comfort zone, today is just an extra day to practice that skill (and if it’s out of your comfort zone, you’re making it too hard. work on making it easy by slipping int into conversation. It’ll get easier) before adding a new one.

Gratitude Dare

day 9: Thank You

Keira

Break out the ol’ thank you cards! For today’s challenge, tell someone thank you! You can either mail a card, tell a person in person, or take an easy route and thank them on Facebook or some other social media. My guess is that I will use all three by the end of November.

dareYou can thank just about anyone. That’s the nice thing. Sometimes it’s pretty obvious whom to thank. Other times, it will take some thinking. I find it easier to find someone to thank in the moment, because otherwise, it seems forced. But you have to watch for it.

If, by the end of the day, you haven’t found some person you are grateful for, pull out your thank you notes and think back. Is there someone who helped you out in life and went unnoticed? Is there someone that had a hand in molding your life into what it is now and had no idea they affected you so much? Write a thank you card to them. You never know how much that note will mean to them. Or to you!

Gratitude Dare

Day 8: Walk

Keira

dareToday, along with all previous challenge steps, go for a walk. In the cold (It’s November). Enjoy the weather. No seriously, enjoy the weather. So it’s cold… But is the sun still shining? You can enjoy the extra boost to the vitamin D. Is it snowing/raining? You can feel joy in the added moisture in the water supply. Cloudy? well, at least the sun isn’t scalding. This particular part of the challenge is easy for me, but not as easy for those I speak to regularly. Walking isn’t everyone’s favorite. And that’s okay. I still highly recommend it. To me, walking is “me time” at it’s fullest. I’m still able to accomplish something, so I don’t feel like my time is wasted (exercise, check! Care for my body, check! Plan my day, check!), but I can’t do too much at once, like I am prone to do if I am in my house (load laundry, eat breakfast, take notes on such-and-such, update the blog, check Facebook 10 times even though there’s nothing new, and plan what task I will be doing next; yes, I’ve done all of that at once). As women, as mothers, we are multitasking too often. In walking, we’re still multitasking, but in a balanced way that brings peace to the rest of the day. Men, too! When we are walking, we are free to think about life. We are free to balance our lives and create order internally. While walking, brains have a way of lining themselves back up, and that internal order begins spilling out externally. And then you get the benefits of the vitamin D exposure (as one who does not store vitamins properly, extra exposure is a HUGE selling point for me). And the endorphin from the body movement without the exhaustion from exertion (say that 10 times fast… exhaustion from exertion, exhaustion from exertion… yeah, enough). Walking outside helps you feel good. My life has been an adventure. I’ve never been one to say “in this moment, I am happy.” Smiling never came naturally to me. But when I walk, thoughts of that nature come into my head. I find myself smiling for no reason. Just to be outside and moving and doing right by my body, I find happiness. And that is something I am grateful for.

Gratitude Dare

Day 7: 30 seconds

Keira

How did this morning go? Need more work? Me, too. But we’ll get it. Tomorrow, continue to re-program your morning wake-up response, but let’s add a step. When you wake up in the morning, after you’ve gotten dressed (to avoid falling asleep), take 30 seconds with your eyes closed and just give thanks for being awake, alive, and cognitive. It’s funny, but adding each additional step seems to create internal warmth. just the thought of closing my eyes and just enveloping myself in thanksgiving seems to set my internal soul ablaze. I’m looking forward to that flame lasting me throughout the day.[warning]Remember: along with our morning gratitude routine, reprogram your responses to look for the silver lining, and write down 3 things you’re grateful for at the end of the day.[/warning]

Gratitude Dare

Day 6: Great Day

Keira

So we’ve helped ourselves look back on the day with positive feelings, and now it’s time to look forward to a day with positive feelings. Tomorrow morning, along with writing 3 paragraphs full of gratitude and looking for the bright side, start your day off with a pick-me-up. Though I’ve never experienced the “thrills” (aka the drug-induced chemical reactions) of coffee, I have a feeling this will be more beneficial, with less withdrawals. Although, I bet a chemical change might still happen?

When you wake up tomorrow, what is your first thought? I confess, mine is something like “ughhhh, it’s morning already?” or, “Why am I up before my alarm, again? I still have x minutes I could be asleep,” depending on if my body wakes me up or my alarm clock does. But just imagine what I could gain by changing that thought? I’m sure I’ll need some practice. But I also foresee that getting out of bed will become much easier. I will probably accomplish more, and it probably wont be as exhausting to survive all the way until the next bedtime (Seriously, why is daytime so exhausting?). Once again, I’m not seeing any downsides. As long as I don’t give up, because I’m sure I’m going to have to force-feed the statement a few times.

Gratitude Dare

Day 5: Bright Side

Keira

Look at the bright side. Sounds easy enough… and by thinking it doesn’t sound easy, you’re not looking at the bright side. By so doing, you’ll be creating an odd Thankgsiving-paradox. How’s that for motivation?

But seriously, spending a whole day looking at the bright side sounds exhausting and so worth it! Imagine how well your day will feel tonight when you only have the bright side left in your cognition?

Today, each time something undesirable comes up, think of the silver lining. I think this will look a little different for everyone. Some people will coat the day with silver in a slightly humorous way

The dog threw up again? Well, at least he’s a living vacuum.

Others will take the “some have less than I” approach

I broke my favorite dish! At least I was lucky enough to have more than one dish so I could pick a favorite.

I find myself at a different setting. I’m not very funny, so my humor would only come out sarcastic (which defeats the purpose). And I guess I’m too comfy with my possessions to be thinking of everything others don’t have. I’m more logical.

My daughter’s going to be late, again? At least she’s learning the importance of time management.

I’m also more creative. Especially when I get caught off guard.

Finances are tight this month? It’s the perfect time to rotate our food storage!

I’ve just spent the whole day working and I have nothing to show for it! … I remember a story about a man told to push against a mountain. Maybe today, I just needed to push.

The problem I usually have (and maybe this will sound familiar), is that I am both a realist (often misinterpreted as a pessimist), and a worrier (lets call it over-thinking. ;c). I think the worry is what makes my realist-side seem more pessimistic). I am also easily caught up in a black-vs-white, good-vs-bad mentality. Everything has a label, a category. Today, and for the rest of the month, I’m will need to make a conscious effort to take everything out of my “bad” mental folder and re-label it with a “good, because ______” folder. I think, at first, I’ll only be able to handle the obvious negatives, but I’m hoping by the end of the month, the little slivers of negativity can be caught and redirected, as well.

[warning] Don’t forget. We’re expanding upon this challenge every day. Keep writing 3 grateful paragraphs down in your place of choice until the end of the month. [/warning]

Gratitude Dare

Day 4: Three Paragraphs

Keira

Now lets get serious. I think on most days, the average person can come up with one thing they’re grateful for. Even on bad days, a person can be grateful that the day is finally over (yes, I’ve had that thought before). However, coming up with 3 distinct events/ideas/things becomes pretty intense. Especially since we’ve already discussed how our paragraphs need to tell the whole story.

Writing 3 separate blessings makes you really look at your day. At least it made me look closer. I asked myself, “what DID I benefit from today?” It changed my perspective from, “well this was good but that was bad,” to “Even though that part took a lot of work, I’m glad I get to enjoy this benefit from it.” Had I only had to come up with one thing, I would have picked the best part of the day, and all of the rest of the day would have been erased from history. There are so many little blessings each and every day. There is more than one event in a day that deserves recognition and highlight. Let’s give rise to all good things, not just the one best thing.

Today, we get to look closer at our day and realize we have more than one thing to be grateful for.

 

Gratitude Dare

Day 3: Tell the Stories

Keira

Welcome back! You’ve mastered the ability to write sentences of thanksgiving. Now, we get to turn that sentence into a whole paragraph. I suggest sticking with the phrase “I am blessed because…,” but if it just doesn’t work for you in something, don’t feel constrained. First and foremost, this project has to work for you. I could go all grammar-geek on you again and discuss that a paragraph needs at least 5 sentences, but that’s technical, rather biblical-scribe-ish. If you feel like you’ve done your gratitude justice, count it. 

 

Make sure that when you’re writing your paragraph, you add enough information and story so that when you look back on it, you can recall the events that touched you. This challenge counts as brownie points with the journal-tracking angels in heaven (there might be such a thing, you never know…), Plus, it doesn’t really count for anything if you just write down a few scattered details and then years later you’d look at these memories and gratitude statements and say, “well, this is totally pointless.” I don’t want you to waste your time, I want it to count for something. Just imagine, instead, having a terrible day and then coming across this entry and getting to relive such a gratifying and uplifting experience (because even if it’s little, in your memory, it will become big later) and having that memory be just the thing to make your day all better. Doesn’t that sound promising? I think it’s a romantic thought, at any rate.