Pieces of Me – Page 2 – Search For Seven

Day 12: Anyway

November 12, 2013February 28, 2023 Keira

Once when I was a teenager, I learned a concept that stood out to me. I brought it home to my family, and we realized how much a part of our life the concept is. We always called it the Anyway Principle.

If you’re going to make dinner anyway, why not make extra and give it to the family of a sick mother?

If you’re going to go to an activity anyway, why not fill the empty seats in the car with someone who needs a ride?

If you’re at your desk anyway, why not write a “just thinking of you” note to someone on your mind?

When I googled the Anyway principle, it came to my attention that there is more than one “Anyway Principle,” and that my version is all but obsolete. The other principle, which is more of an “Anyway Challenge,” discusses a few paradoxical commandments, written by Kent M. Keith.

Although at first the principles seemed so different to me, I thought about it, did some research, and studied a bit of the grammar that I love. Whether something is negative or not, like in the paradoxical commandments, it doesn’t change the word (from what I can tell, the direction you’re looking – positive or negative – is the only difference between the paradoxical commandments and the anyway principle I knew: one states the opposition to the plan, while the other focuses on the proactive side of the plan. It doesn’t change the use of the word. Both mean “regardless,” “in any case,” or “nevertheless”). If you are going to do something anyway, do it. Don’t let something stand in your way. Do something good no matter what opposition you face. If you’re going to reach out, who cares who tries to stop you! Especially if the person trying to stop you is yourself. Do it anyway.

But to me, grammar aside, there is still a difference I can’t ignore. One is active, the other is proactive. One is looking back and saying “I will move forward, anyway.” The other says, “I will move forward anyway, so what’s one more step.” One looks back and sees all the reasons not to do something. The other ignores all the reasons not to, and just looks at what they can do, and how much further they can go. If you are doing something anyway, is there someone you can bring along with you or something you can do while you’re out? If you’re cooking dinner anyway, can you make extra?

I guess it’s the anyway principle inside of the anyway principle. You can choose to follow Kent M. Keith’s anyway principle (it’s still forward movement, so it counts. And some days, that might be all you can handle. Smile anyway…), but if you’re going to do it anyway…

Day 5: Bright Side

November 5, 2013January 27, 2022 Keira

Look at the bright side. Sounds easy enough… and by thinking it doesn’t sound easy, you’re not looking at the bright side. By so doing, you’ll be creating an odd Thankgsiving-paradox. How’s that for motivation?

But seriously, spending a whole day looking at the bright side sounds exhausting and so worth it! Imagine how well your day will feel tonight when you only have the bright side left in your cognition?

Today, each time something undesirable comes up, think of the silver lining. I think this will look a little different for everyone. Some people will coat the day with silver in a slightly humorous way

The dog threw up again? Well, at least he’s a living vacuum.

Others will take the “some have less than I” approach

I broke my favorite dish! At least I was lucky enough to have more than one dish so I could pick a favorite.

I find myself at a different setting. I’m not very funny, so my humor would only come out sarcastic (which defeats the purpose). And I guess I’m too comfy with my possessions to be thinking of everything others don’t have. I’m more logical.

My daughter’s going to be late, again? At least she’s learning the importance of time management.

I’m also more creative. Especially when I get caught off guard.

Finances are tight this month? It’s the perfect time to rotate our food storage!

I’ve just spent the whole day working and I have nothing to show for it! … I remember a story about a man told to push against a mountain. Maybe today, I just needed to push.

The problem I usually have (and maybe this will sound familiar), is that I am both a realist (often misinterpreted as a pessimist), and a worrier (lets call it over-thinking. ;c). I think the worry is what makes my realist-side seem more pessimistic). I am also easily caught up in a black-vs-white, good-vs-bad mentality. Everything has a label, a category. Today, and for the rest of the month, I’m will need to make a conscious effort to take everything out of my “bad” mental folder and re-label it with a “good, because ______” folder. I think, at first, I’ll only be able to handle the obvious negatives, but I’m hoping by the end of the month, the little slivers of negativity can be caught and redirected, as well.

[warning] Don’t forget. We’re expanding upon this challenge every day. Keep writing 3 grateful paragraphs down in your place of choice until the end of the month. [/warning]

Archives, Life Lessons

Archive: Letting Go

May 29, 2013January 5, 2018 Keira

***Archive: This post was published on a previous blog and transferred here.***

Letting Go” From The Grace Awakening by Chuck Swindoll

To let go doesn’t mean to stop caring,
It means I can’t do it for someone else.

To let go doesn’t mean to cut myself off,
It’s the realization that I cannot control another.

To let go is not to enable,
But to allow learning from natural consequences.

To let go is to admit powerlessness
Which means the outcome is not in my hands

To let go is not to try to change or blame another,
I can only change myself.

To let go is not to care for,
But to care about.

To let go is not to fix,
But to be supportive.

To let go is not to judge,
But to allow another to be a human being.

To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes,
But to allow others to affect their own outcomes.

To let go is not to be protective,
But to permit another to face reality.

To let go is not to deny,
But to accept.

To let go is not to nag, scold, or argue,
But to search out my own shortcomings and to correct them.

To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires,
But to take each day as it comes.

To let go is not to criticize and regulate anyone,
But to try to become what I dream I can be.

To let go is not to regret the past,
But to grow and live for the future.

To let go is fear less
And love more.

This past week, 2 main concepts keep coming into my mind. Life does that, sometimes [Well, I’m not going to give life the credit, I’ll give it to the divine plan and the powers of the human mind], giving you a theme for the day. The two focuses of my life right now are letting go and agency. The two concepts are friends holding hands, really; walking side by side. Letting go is allowing others their agency, while reserving your own. It’s sorting through what you do have control over and what you don’t. All anyone really has control over can be summed up into 3 things: personal thoughts, personal feelings, and personal actions. Everything else is someone else’s control/agency.

I’ve been thinking about my daughter, and how she can ride a bike but wont let herself; and how she can swim, if she’d just trust the water. Letting go, to me, is like that. It’s realizing that the water is not your enemy, but your friend. It’s realizing that the bike works with you, not for you. Letting go is just…trusting. And not the “okay, world, I’m going to jump, you’d better catch me.” but, “Lord, I know that you see what I cannot, and I’m okay with that.” Letting go literally, physically, feels different. I had no idea! Letting go is a calming in every muscle, because when you are calm, the water lets you float. When you relax, the bike lets you balance. And when you let go… life does the same. I wish I knew how to spare the world of so much fear and negativity, because I see how hard it is to not let go (and quite frequently have to remind myself of the difference), but I never learned that skill. Instead, I ache for a world – for loved ones – and pray that someday, they can learn for themselves

to just let go.

A Day in the Life

The Oak Tree by Johnny Ray Ryder Jr

November 8, 2010June 24, 2022 Keira

A mighty wind blew night and day

It stole the oak tree’s leaves away

Then snapped its boughs and pulled its bark

Until the oak was tired and stark

But still the oak tree held its ground

While other trees fell all around

The weary wind gave up and spoke.

How can you still be standing Oak?

The oak tree said, I know that you

Can break each branch of mine in two

Carry every leaf away

Shake my limbs, and make me sway

But I have roots stretched in the earth

Growing stronger since my birth

You’ll never touch them, for you see

They are the deepest part of me

Until today, I wasn’t sure

Of just how much I could endure

But now I’ve found, with thanks to you

I’m stronger than I ever knew

This poem was shared at the CES Fireside yesterday. I absolutely LOVE it. I can relate with the tree in that I’m grateful to realize how strong I am now. And I feel like I’ve been in that wind storm before. And I hope that I can have the same attitude all the time. It reminded me of one of my favorite songs, Roots before Branches.

I’ve always felt that it is smart to know what you stand for. I feel like if I lose sight of who I am and what I stand for and who I want to be then I lose myself, so it’s always been something I cherish “down deep.” Throughout the years, I have learned and re-learned that I am a daughter of a Heavenly Father who loves me, and I love him. I am bold and sometimes I’m too pushy. I am a truth giver and truth seeker. I am a marriage advocate, and a divorcee. I am eclectic and a contradiction. And most of all, I am okay with who I am, even though I will still try to be better, and even though I’m far from perfect.